(I wrote this a long time ago, before I gave up on dating females.)
Its quite usual that a woman won't understand how hard it is to get dates. But almost all guys I've talked to understand what I'm talking about how hard it is. We just have it a lot harder, but women are too ignorant about males to understand how much harder it is for us to get someone. It would be nice if they considered us important enough to understand more. *shrug*.
Or usually its me who has to make the move of talking or flirting. They will be too lazy and useless to do anything. So why should it be me? After all the rejection males get, they should understand that it would be harder for me than them. Often I'll see girls looking at me alot (obviously they want to look), but they won't want to smile or talk.
For example, some girl here was complaining how guys were always making moves on her. But.... she encourages it with her dressing (showing off cleavage, make up and that), and talks to them instead of ignoring them and then talking to more like minded people. And whats really stupid, is that what if they DIDN'T give her attention?? She told me she never makes a move, beause she is scared. But thats so stupid, because then if she didn't get attention, she'd have no one, because she doesn't make moves on guys.
So she has no right to complain then, correct? If she learns to not be so useless, she might have more of a right to complain. But I don't see why she is scared, she doesn't have to put up with rejections.
Another example is a girlfriend I once had. She told me after I first kissed her (without asking her), that if I asked her if I could kiss her, she would have said no! But she enjoyed it a lot, and she ended up becoming my girlfriend after all. But if I did ask (which is more polite, yes?), then she would have said no, and I would have felt very rejected, like I am not good enough for her. And she would have been too much of a typical useless and lazy cowardly girl to do anything about how I feel, and just LET ME feel like that. And we would have never got together. We did end up much in love together. (We aren't together now but thats a different story). But if I did ask her, it would never have happened. Stupid huh? Many other girls have rejected me when I KNEW they did want me (like looking at me way too much, or even telling me they did want me), but I have more respect for myself than to beg. If they say no, then it means no. And I won't waste my effort on them anymore. They've lost their only chance. That girlfriend was just lucky, I guess, that I didn't think to ask.
I just think the best way to describe those kind of personalities is just very very useless.
And yes I do know how it is meant to go. I've had one (only 1) girlfriend who did make a move on me, and was serious at the same time (rather than being a manipulative whore). So we both kind of did half/half. Out of all the contacts (including failed ones) I've had, just 1 was like that.
An example of the dating scene: Theres guy and girl. Guy wants some intimacy love and sex, girl wants the same. Guy happens to mention that he likes sex amoungst mentioning the other things, girl mentions it too... Girl accuses the guy of ONLY wanting sex (and not ALSO wanting sex).
Guy has the choice of dancing to her tune to put her mind at rest, putting up with accusations, or leaving. Girl has the choice of being kind, or giving more accusations and insults. She gets what she wants from him or from someone else no matter which she chooses.
Theres different stories when people want different things that don't include love, but I won't bore you by repeating the theme, and besides I'll stick to something closer to home as I DO want love. Faceparty.com is a really good example of this, just browse the personals and see for yourself. The only women including sexual things in their personals, are ones looking for lesbian relationships, explictly looking for money, or other hard to find things (like under 18 year old boys exclusively for a 30+ woman). Cos they know, they have the power, they have the choice. Females are rich with power in the dating scene. They know it, they use it, but they refuse to admit it!
I've had long term relationships where there was no sex at all (and no prospect of it ever in fact), and I was quite happy, because we were close and intimate, we saw each other, we liked each other. I didn't even ask for it because she gave me a perfectly logical reason. YES I was happy with getting the other things that I ALSO want (intimacy fun caring), aside from sex. So why do I have to get accused of "you only want sex from me" this all the time by girls, even ones that should know better having known me a little bit? Why me? Just because I'm a guy, because girls are totally sexist towards guys.
I saw a film yesterday on nature, actually I'm quite disgusted by most animals, as I am with humans. It was some kind of "courtship" between leopards, which tends to be violent. The male in fact was mostly just approaching. The female was very aggressive, the male I observed was more defensive, if he was aggressive it would have been disaster for her as he was a lot stronger and bigger. He was mostly just blocking off her claw swipes and just being around while taking the violence. Some fighting back but really meek compared to her, it was more of a defensive stance. It ended up with his nose bleeding bad, but just actually seeming happy, content, that she stopped attacking him. So the "ritual" sort of ended, him laying down next to her bleeding and happy and her accepting that maybe she didn't mind having him around. No mating, just in fact coming to something that might seem more a normal starting point. That is two beings near by each other seeing how they like each other's company or not.
I noticed that this disgusting show, only stopped when the female was proven both that he was more powerful than she (he was easily knocking her over being larger and stronger, not swiping and biting as she did), and that he would submit to suffer her (even when she was biting hard, hurting him and making him bleed he didn't fight back just ignored it and waiting for her to tire). So what she demanded from him in essense was: being stronger, making the moves, and willing to submit and suffer her.
Could that be what I was missing about human female behaviour? It seemed like a pretty good summary, except that instead of the power of being stronger you can replace that with all the kind of power humans demand (money, popularity, business power, etc). Maybe thats why us "nice guys" fail with women so much, because we don't understand why they reject us, and why women complain about "bastards" so much (because these are exactly the kind of guys they want, the submissive bastard).
I've read recently, that an American research study had shown that in 85% of human relationships, the female is usually the one that starts the verbal arguments. In mine, its been 100%. Its these arguments that have been the break ups of all my relationships, its never been about anything other than respect to me. I need respect.